I've always believed there's a God. I grew up loving to sing about God and what He has done for us through His Son Jesus. My family weren't religious people but mam took me to the local Church at all the festivals. I didnt really begin to have a RELATIONSHIP with God until much later in my life. Through my High School years and early working life I really began to experience 'the world' doing what young people do - I felt at the time I was trying to find something (or someONE) I started religion shopping. Going from religion to religion - always really getting involved to 'find' God. People told me I was mad to be doing it but I believed what I had read in the BIble when it said "SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND".

I decided that religion was man made and went back to the world. A man, Ward - who knew of me, came into my life. He wanted me to teach him about Judaism. We met regularly and I learnt that he was a Born Again Christian. Through our discussions he showed me how God in the Old Testament was preparing the World for the coming of Jesus "in the fullness of time". I told Ward that I'd come to church with him but I'd only go once. I also told him that I might go again if they sing a particular song I had in mind - I never told him the song. I had seen the song in a songbook and loved it. The following Sunday morning I went to a Foursquare Gospel church with Ward. After the praise and worship the Pastor introduced an elderly lady who wanted to share a testimony. She shared and then started singing... Have you any room for Jesus, He who bore your load of sin? As He knocks and asks admission, sinner will you let Him in?..." Yes, the very song I had said I wanted to hear!!! I remember sobbing and after the testimony there was an altar call. How could I resist?

Ward became my mentor. We often joked that we were a modern day David and Jonathan. He said I was his David. I became hungry for God's Word attending fellowship, church, evening classes, then bible college. I eventually became assistant pastor for the Deaf church that Ward was pastoring and eventually did missionary work with Deaf people in Cuernavaca, Mexico. I returned after 9 months to take up the Deaf church while Ward and his wife went to America to do some teaching. My world changed when Ward took sick prior to going to America and while he was there died with Leukaemia. I hated the David and Jonathan story for a long time because Jonathan died - I didnt want to be a David. In a daze I took up the responsibility of the church, also taking care of Ward's family. I couldnt fathom God's Hand in this. Why did He give me a friend to help me through all the confusion of my life just to take him away and leave me in a further state of confusion?

I continued with my responsibilities 'being' a pastor/teacher/evangelist' but still felt like I wanted to give it all in. A friend asked if I'd travel with him for a month. I talked with my church and they released me from duties. During the travel my friend went to visit family and I stayed in a hotel. One night I was feeling frustrated. I remember feeling very confused and looked back over the time since Ward's death wondering if I hadnt been wasting my time. I fell on my face and cried, saying 'why, why, why' over and over. I cried to near exhaustion and then something happened. I felt a sensation come over my body. I felt like the room was being filled with a presence. I couldnt get up or turn over off my face - I didnt really want to. Then a 'voice' said to me "Finally I have you alone!" "Let me love you". At first I was confused then I realised in everything I had been doing FOR God, I wasnt spending time with Him. I'd pray but didnt wait to listen, I'd tell Him I was going to do something, but wouldnt wait to see if He approved. I suddenly understood what it meant to wait upon the Lord and renew my strength. That evening I began a RELATIONSHIP with God. He touched me, Oh, He touched me, what joy floods my soul!!!

Today I want people to know that God wants a RELATIONSHIP with them. God will bring people into our lives who will come and go but HE will remain forever! He loves us so much that He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus. And who ever believes in Jesus will have eternal life - life to the full. Jesus is all I need!